Star Trek 2.10 (Journey to Babel)

Cast:

Jane Wyatt (Amanda)

William O'Connell (Thelev)

John Wheeler (Gav)

James X. Mitchell (Lt. Josephs)

Reggie Nalder (Shras)

Writer: D.C. Fontana

I am such a geek. I like this episode for a number of reasons: firstly, of course, the wonderful Mark Lenard as Sarek (Spock's father) and all the aliens. Some of them are not created that well (the pig like Tellarites for example) what it lacks in visuals it has in plot, which more than makes up for it.

Talking of Tellarites, the first one killed was executed using a Vulcan method called "Tal Shaya" (I don't know if the subtitles are spelled correctly, but that is how it is spelled in the subtitles). Now, the Romulan secret service is called the "Tal Shiar." Probably a coincidence, but I enjoyed that nonetheless.

I like the set up as well - Kirk gets attacked and unable to command, Sarek gets ill and only a blood transfusion from Spock will save him, but because of all of the crap going on aboard the ship, Spock believes that his duties as commander of the ship are more important than his fathers life. McCoy and Kirk manage to pull a fast one and trick Spock into thinking that Kirk is okay, but then, during the delicate operation the Enterprise is attacked and it all nearly goes wrong.

It's good stuff, and I am so glad that on the strength of this performance alone we get to see Sarek a further five times - in three of the films as well as two episodes of The Next Generation. Cracking!

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 33

Score: 8/10

Star Trek 2.9 (Metamorphosis)

Cast:

Glenn Corbett (Zefram Cochrane)

Elinor Donahue (Commissioner Nancy Hedford)

Writer: Gene L. Coon

An old man is rejuvenated and held on a planet by a gentle force called the Companion, but he is lonely so it ensnares the occupants of a passing shuttle to keep him company. The old man is Zephram Cochrane, the occupants of the shuttle are Kirk, Spock, McCoy and an annoying ambassador (Nancy Hedford) in the middle of a peace conference being rushed to the Enterprise for some emergency medical treatment.

Cochrane is an interesting character - like Spock's father Sarek, he is one of the few characters to make it it into various forms of Star Trek (albeit played by a different actor). He also gets to meet Picard and co (in his past, in Star Trek: First Contact) and even has a cameo in a couple of episodes of Enterprise.

It is a bit of a hokey love story bewteen Cochrane and the shimmering being Cochrane calls the Companion. Although he only finds out that it adores him when the Enterprise crew build a translation device and it turns out to be female. I am torn as to whether Cochranes initial reaction makes sense or not - this thing has sustained him for 150 years and yet suddenly when he finds out it has a crush on him he gets all pissed off? Then again perhaps he saw it as a betrayal. I don't know. Anyhow, the resolution is that is merges with Nancy (who, as it happens isn't too ugly even by 60s standards) and suddenly as the Companion is in a sexy female body as far as Cochrane is concerned it's game on!!

Too long, dull and wordy, and the few scenes featuring the Enterprise seem thrown in just so you don't forget they exist, they are incidental to the plot. (Nice to see Scotty in command again though).

So all in all, very very average, only elevated by the fact we see Cochrane again.

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 33

Score: 5/10

Star Trek 2.8 (I, Mudd)

Cast:
Roger C. Carmel (Harcourt Fenton "Harry" Mudd)

Richard Tatro (Norman)

Alyce Andrece (Alice #1 through 250)

Rhae Andrece (Alice #251 through 500)

Kay Elliot (Stella Mudd)

Mike Howden (Lt. Rowe)

Michael Zaslow (Ensign Jordan)

Writer: Stephen Kandel, David Gerrold

Oh dear. After a run of decent episodes (apart from Catspaw) we get this utter drivel.

The episode is a sequel to last season's Mudds Women and sees the return of Harcourt Fenton Mudd (Harry to his friends). He has become trapped on a planet run only by robots, and he uses one of them to infiltrate the Enterprise and divert it to the planet. Then, the robots take over the Enterprise and beams down all the crew. Just as Harry is about to leave, the robots turn on him and he has to stay as well.

The rest of the episode sees the crew attempting to confuse the robots and they eventually get back to the ship.

There is one moment that I quite liked. It is suggested early on that Uhura finds the idea of becoming immortal in the form of an android to be quite seductive, which I thought was out of character for her, so when it is later revealed as a trick I was relieved. The background cast often get a shoddy deal and their characterisation is often not up to much, and had Uhura really decided she wanted to be an android it would have made this shoddy affair just about bearable.

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 33

Score: 4/10

Star Trek 2.7 (Catspaw)

Cast:

Antoinette Bower (Sylvia)

Theodore Marcuse (Korob)

Michael Barrier (II) (Lt. Vincent DeSalle)

Rhodie Cogan (Witch #1)

Gail Bonney (Witch #2)

Mary Esther Denver (Witch #3)

Writer: Robert Bloch

Having just watched a Trek tour de force, I suppose that it makes sense that the episode that follows it is a bucket of old poo. I cannot think of anything better to say about this episode. It makes sense for shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer to have halloween episodes. But what the hell was this all about? The opening moments (especially the three witches) was just embarassing and awful.

This has the trappings of episodes like The Squire of Gothos and Who Mourns for Adonais (aliens that have almost magical powers that they can use to do almost anything, who have a piece of equipment that gives them their power, the destroying of which destroys their power). Those episodes have some merits (although neither are, in my opinion, examples of Trek at it's best) but there is something about the way this episode is acted that makes the two protragonists down on the planet even more unbelievable than the characters in the aforementioned shows. The fact that neither are acted very well doesn't help. You cannot empathise with either.

And I think Sylvia was supposed to be sexy. No she isn't (Kirk really must have forced himseld to kiss her... no, I forgot, this is Kirk we are talking about) and I think somehow they should have cast someone who could move in a somewhat feline way (we do also see her transform into a cat after all). And whilst I am on the subject of the things that piss me off, the moment where she puts the model Enterprise over that bloody candle just winds me up. I don't know why. It is just so cringeworthy. It is the kind of moment that people who don't like this show could latch into as a good reason not to watch "s**t like that" and sadly they'd be right. Coupled with the scenes with the giant cat... awful. Just awful.

And the final revelation of what the aliens really look like. They look like they should be from some dreadful BBC kids 1970's puppet show. This is an episode that fans should only watch if they, like me, are watching them in sequence. One of my least favourite episodes of Star Trek. Ever.

Crew Deaths: 1

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 33

Score: 2/10

Star Trek 2.6 (The Doomsday Machine)

Cast:

William Windom (Commodore Matthew Decker)

Jerry Catron (Crewman Montgomery)

Tim Burns (Crewman Russ)

John Copage (Crewman Elliot)

Richard Compton (Crewman Washburn)

Elizabeth Rogers (Lt. Palmer)

Writer: Norman Spinrad

I admit a bias towards this episode, not quite sure why. It's not like it was one of the first episodes I ever saw or anything like that. I like this one simply because it's great.

This is the first time (I think) we get to see another StarFleet vessel, certainly inside it. Okay, so it's the Entperprise sets smashed up with some rubble thrown in, but you don't get to see that very often.

Secondly, the guest actor (William Windom as Matt Decker) is excellent. His performance as he tells Kirk what happened to the crew of his ship, the USS Constellation, is amazing, you can feel his anguish at what happened. This part in the hands of a less capable actor could have ruined the episode - has Decker not convinced then a lot of what happened would have looked like hokey nonsence. Escpecially his suicide at the end. (If he died. New Voyages fans will think otherwise!)

Then there is the premise. An ancient robotic weapon is heading in a straight line to the most densely populated part of our galaxy (the thing that smashed up the Constellation) and must be stopped. We don't know what it is or why it is there, Kirks theory that it is a leftover doomsday weapon from some ancient war is plausible but never proved. I think that is another reason I love this episode so much - in later versions of Trek they would have beamed aboard and found some database that they could translate and so on. No explanations here. This thing just is and must be stopped.

And finally there is the pacing. If all gets sorted in the last moments that it could be sorted (of course) and even the transporter needed to save Kirk from certian death breaks down thirty seconds before he will die. Again, a bit of a Trek cliche but here it is excellent.

Can't say anything bad. It only doesn't get a ten as I don't give them. One of the best Star Trek episodes from any of the series.

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 32

Score: 9.5/10

Star Trek 2.5 (The Apple)

Cast:

Shari Nims (Sayana)

David Soul (Makora)

Celeste Yarnell (Yeoman Martha Landon)

Keith Andes (Akuta)

Mal Friedman (Hendorff)

Jerry Daniels (Marple)

Writers: Gene L. Coon, Max Ehrlich

This is the kind of episode that I dread when watching a large number of original Star Trek episodes. Indeed, my dread of stuff like this actually account for why I it is taking me so long to get through these original episodes.

The crew of the Enterprise encounter a giant paper mache dragons head thing that contains a massive computer thing that is running the lives of all of the people on the planet (not that there are many, and no children). The computer stops the population from shagging and has put crap antenna in their heads that look rather like twisted bits of tin foil glued just behind their ears.

Some of the scripting is just awful as well. Before the opening titles, a member of the crew is killed by a plant that shoots poisanous spikes. So rather than beam back up to the ship and continue in some form of environment suit, they carry on and it is actually Kirk who nearly falls foul of them again. Add to these rocks that are chemically so unstable that treading on them makes them explode like a land mine and you are somewhere unfit for humans. After the death of a second crewmember (who trod on the wrong type of rock) Spock says that Kirk has behaved correctly and there was nothing else he could have done. Yeah, right.

Add to it the "it came from Russia" gag that is already wearing thin and the fact that the race on the planet learn about physical contact from watching Checkov snog some Yeoman... just skip this one. It's crap.

Crew Deaths: 2

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 32

Score: 3/10

Star Trek 2.4 (Mirror Mirror)

Cast:

Barbara Luna (Lt. Marlena Moreau)

Garth Pillsbury (Wilson)

Pete Kellett (Farrell)

Writer: Jerome Bixby

Every now and then there comes an episode from the original series that merits the hype that surrounds it. This is one of those.

The creation of the Mirror universe, with it's differences (some huge, some tiny) is a work of genius, and the imagery from the episode has been lampooned on many occasions (I point you to the episode of South Park where you only know characters are from an alternative, evil universe because of their beards) and even though the story is very simple, it is compelling. Okay, so you know that the changes made to the uniforms and set design are minimal, but they are fasctinating much the same. It is almost a shame that this was not a two parter that featured more of the "evil" versions on "our" Enterprise (not going mad with anger as was shown here) but there are also some cool similarities - the fact that Spock is not as nasty as some of the others in this universe actually makes sense, had it not then the end of the story would have been quite ridiculous.

This was such a huge success that Deep Space Nine revisited this universe on several occasions (some episodes were great, some just plain silly) and even Enterprise went here as a kind of prequel in its final season.

So, all in all, a really enjoyable episode. Loads of crewmembers died, but sadly none of them count as they were in the other universe!

Crew Deaths: 0
Total Crew Deaths So Far: 30
Score: 8/10

Star Trek 2.3 (The Changeling)

Cast:

Barbara Gates (Astrochemist)

Blaisdell Makee (Lt. Singh)

Arnold Lessing (Lt. Carlisle)

Meade Martin (Engineer)

Arnold Lessing (voice of Security Guard)

Writer: John Meredyth Lucas

On paper, this episode does not look all that good. A machine that left Earth hundreds of years ago is on its way back, looking for it's creator. Now, from that bried synopsis you might think that I am talking about Star Trek: The Motion Picture but obviously I am not. The computer (Nomad) has a mission to destroy anything that is not perfection, (including the Enterprise) although, unlike V'ger in the aforementioned film, it does not wish to kind it's creator.

Another similarity is the mind meld that Spock performs on the machine (though how a Vulcan can meld with this I am not sure!) And we finally get some crew deaths in this episode - I am not bloodthirsty but we have not had a crew death in many episodes and in this one four rouge-cladded extras are sent to their graves!

Although in the end Kirk talks the machine into suicide, I don't dislike this episode as much as I should. The main part that I hate is the fact that Uhura seems to have her brain totally erased, but five minutes later she is reading basic english and within a week she will be fit to return to duty! So that means that StarFleet Academy should be able to turn out officers in the same amount of time. Also, if her brain was erased then surely she is no longer the Uhura that we know? I am assuming that the brain erasure is not as complete as made out in the episode (she tries to speak Swahili at one point, suggesting that not everything is gone) but that part is still nonsense!

Crew Deaths: 4

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 30

Score: 7/10

Star Trek 2.2 (Who mourns for Adonais?)

Cast:
John Winston (Lt. Kyle)
Leslie Parrish (Lt. Carolyn Palamas)

Michael Forest (Apollo)

Writers: Gene L. Coon, Gilbert A. Ralston

This episode is well remembered, although arguably not as one of the absolute classic episodes. I think the shot of the Enterprise being held in space by a giant hand is an enduring image from this series, although I would expect most people may not be sure what else happens in the episode.

Well, not much as it happens. Apollo brings some of the crew down to tell them that they have to dismantle the Enterprise, and beam down to the planet and worship him. Everyone thinks this is a rotten idea - everyone except anotehr weak willed female member of the crew, Carolyn Palamas (who Scotty has a thing for) who falls for Apollo. I find this very annoying and rather unlikely, just like the woman who fell for Kahn in Space Seed. I hate the way they feel they have to include these pathetic female characters who fall for someone poweful even though they are obviosuly dodgy. Palamas ultimately makes up for it and is instrumental in saving the day, but I just don't believe that she would have fallen for him in the first place.

I also was annoyed by the sexism towards the females in this show - McCoy comments that Palamas will leave the service when she finds the right man - the idea that she could marry and stay in StarFleet just doesn't enter his head. This is clearly sixties thinking, so is less annoying than the previous point, but it still rankles a little.

This episode is also rather cheap. There are the Enterprise sets (and all we really see is the bridge) and the planet (which is basically Apollo's temple and a few shrubs) and that is all we see.

The notion at the end that perhaps this was the real Apollo is quite interesting, although I feel that Kirk accepts this idea rather too easily. For all he knows this could have just been another Squire of Gothos, especially as he is defeated in exactly the same way, the destruction of a "hidden" power source.

It really isn't that original even for early Star Trek.

Crew Deaths: 0
Total Crew Deaths So Far: 26
Score: 5/10

Star Trek 2.1 (Amok Time)

Cast:

Walter Koenig (Ensign Pavel Chekov)

Celia Lovsky (T'Pau)

Arlene Martel (T'Pring)

Byron Morrow (Adm. Komack)

Lawrence Montaigne (Stonn)

Writer: Theodore Sturgeon

I commented on the final episode of series one that there was nothing special about it. Well, there is something special about the opening episode of season 2. This episode is all about Spock (arguably one of the more fascinating characters from the original series) and introduces us to some stuff that will continue throughout the franchise. It is in this story that we find out that Vulcan (males?) only have the urge to mate every seven years (no wonder the little buggers are such good card players, oops, wrong series) and if they don't get their end away they die. So Kirk breaks some direct orders to take Spock back to Vulcan so that he can get some nookie.

Only it's not that simple. His betrothed now wants to bone someone else (absense makes the heart grow fonder my arse) so Kirk and Spock end up having to have a fight to the death.

Some aspects of this episode are not great. The Vulcan set is a bit shit (a typical classic Trek badly dressed and lit soundstage) but on the plus side is a very alien culture in the Vulcans. So whilst this will never be one of the top ten, it is a crucial and pivotal episode nonetheless.

Oh, and of course we are introduced to Chekov.

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 26

Score: 7/10

Star Trek 1.29 (Operation -- Annihilate!)

Cast:

Joan Swift (Aurelan Kirk)

Maurishka Taliferro (Yeoman Zahra Jamal)

Craig Hundley (Peter Kirk)

Fred Carson (Denevan #1)

Jerry Catron (Denevan #2)

Writer: Stephen W. Carabatsos

Because of the modern days of television where the season ends on either a massive finale or a huge cliffhanger, there is somehow something slightly unsatisfying about this episode. I understand that I am applying a modern day sensibility onto this episode, so for the purposes of this review we will look at it as just another episode.

This is the first time that we have seen the family of any of the regulars as far as I recall - Shatner has an uncredited cameo as the corpse of his brother George. The people of whatever planet they are on are on the path of some form of insanity, so they visit the planet in the hope of preventing whatever has been going on, but when they get there it has already arrived.

Spock gets infected by the same alien species, and this is the first part that I don't like about this episode. Rather than persuading Kirk to let him go back to the planet (on the grounds that no further people are at risk since he is already infected) he tries to pull a gun on Scotty and force him to beam him down, a sign (to me anyway) that he is not himself.

Kirk ends up in a situation where he may have to kill the million colonists to prevent further spread of the madness, but of course we all know that he manages to defeat the aliens and save the day. So it is very average indeed - an obvious ending to a rather obvious story.

Crew Deaths: 0
Total Crew Deaths So Far: 26
Score: 5/10

Star Trek 1.28 (The City of the Edge of Forever)

Cast:

David L. Ross (Lt. Galloway)

John Winston (Lt. Kyle)

Bart La Rue (voice of The Guardian)

Joan Collins (Edith Keeler)

John Harmon (Rodent)

Hal Baylor (Policeman)

Writer: Harlan Ellison

When you ask a Star Trek fan to list their very favourite episodes, this one nearly always comes in the top three. Why. Does it deserve it or not?

Well, yes is the brief answer. For a start is introduces the concept of the Guardian of Forever, which is used to great effect down the line on an episode of Star Trek: New Voyages. It is also quite a clever story - high on a medication that is injected in error, McCoy goes through the portal and changes history so badly that the Enterprise no longer exists. Spock and Kirk follow (although the actually arrive first), and Kirk meets Edith Keeler (Joan Collins) and falls for her. Sadly, when Spock gets his tricorder working again he realises that her death is that turning point, and by saving her McCoy changes the future, so in a nutshell he has to let her die when he knows he can save her.

This is a really nice tale - set in the past, it has some nice dialogue and the interplay between Kirk and Spock is great, especially the moment where they explain Spocks ears to a cop! It is nice seeing our regulars as fish out of water in an environment they don't really understand, but a lot of the episode revolves around Spock having to build a rudimentary computer to view the information stored on the tricorder. So what kind of tit designs a handheld unit that can store loads of data that cannot be accessed without a larger computer?

Oh, and the insistence of the director of doing all of the close up shots of Keeler in soft focus really gets very annoying very quickly. When every other shot is nice and sharp, those are just annoying.

And those really are the only gripes, the rest is great. It is regarded as a classic, and deservedly so.

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 26

Score: 8/10

Star Trek 1.27 (The Alternative Factor)

Cast:
Eddie Paskey (Lt. Leslie)

Robert Brown (XI) (Lazarus)

Janet MacLachlan (Lt. Charlene Masters)

Richard Derr (Commodore Barstow)

Arch Whiting (Assistant Engineer)

Christian Patrick (Transporter Chief)

Writer: Don Ingalls

Hey, I'm back. (Wanting to watch a Trek episode on my new TV had nothing to do with it, honest!) This is an interesting episode. It's one of those average shows - it's not awful but it's not great. The central idea, that two identical looking guys from opposite universes (presumably one ours, one other) are locked in a fight, the ramifications of which are creating instability across the entire galaxy and beyond. The Enterprise is closest, so they draw the short straw to investigate.

Obviously, what is happening is not immediately revealed - Lazarus initially just looks like a schizoid nutter - but I liked the idea that they cross the universes though what is described as a tunnel that is like a "safety valve". Having watched the Doctor Who story "Logopolis" recently, the concept sounds rather like the CVE that is used to cross into another universe, but I suspect that they didn't nick it from here as the way the idea is used is very different.

Some silly stuff here. Lazarus is supposed to be this violent, dodgy geezer, yet they let him run around the Enterprise rather than keeping him locked up. And curiously, the scene set in the alternative universe is filmed on a soundstage rather than the location used for the scenes set in our universe. I don't really understand why - surely it would have been cheaper just to film this sequence when they were on location? Or maybe someone thought the look had to be different enough so that even the stupid viewed could pick up on what was actually going on.

So, an okay concept averagely executed.

Crew Deaths: 0
Total Crew Deaths So Far: 26
Score: 6/10

Star Trek 1.26 (Errand of Mercy)

First Aired: March 23, 1967

Cast:

John Abbott (Ayelborne)

John Colicos (Kor)

Peter Brocco (Claymare)

Victor Lundin (Klingon Lieutenant #1)

David Hillary Hughes (Trefayne)

Walt Davis (Klingon Soldier #1)

George Sawaya (Klingon Lieutenant #2)

Writer: Gene L. Coon

Blimey, been months! Anyhow, this is a very special episode, since it contains the first reference and appearance of the Klingons, and the brilliant John Colicos as Kor.

The first thing I notice is what Kirk says to the Organians about the Klingons: they apparently run slave labour camps, and take hostages. At one point Kirk grabs a Klingon soldier and threatens to kill him if he does not give Kirk some information. The Klingon complies, which a later Klingon would not have done. They are a people who have a love of war. All of these things are later contradicted - Klingons have a love on honour, which suggests that most of the things above are not part of their culture.It is interesting to theorise about this - did Kirk exagerate the danger to try and convince the Organians to accept their help, or did the Federation use propaganda to ensure that their own people were more scared or angry at the Klingon race? Not very Roddenberry-esque, but interesting all the same.

The big thing that surprised me about this episode was how wordy it was. Given that the Klingons have a reputation for violence, there is very little in evidence in the show - it is implied but not seen on screen. Really the episode is a two hander between Shatner and Colicos, with some cracking dialogue between them. The other surprise, given how wordy the episode is, is how quickly it went - it did not drag at all. The final revelation that the Organians are far more advanced than we thought they were was something I had remembered was coming, but I guess it would not have been much of a twist even if you knew it was coming - these guys did not seem resigned to their fate, simply not bothered by what was going on, and logically there could have been no other explanation.

So the Organians prevent a war, they even predict that the Klingons and Federation will get on in the future.

Quite a satisfying episode, and an interesting introduction to the Klingon race.

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 26

Score: 7/10

Star Trek 1.25 (The Devil in the Dark)

First Aired: March 9, 1967

Cast:
Ken Lynch (Chief Engineer Vanderberg)
Brad Weston (Ed Appel)
Biff Elliot (Schmitter)
George E. Allen (Engineer)
Jon Cavett (Guard)
Barry Russo (Lt. Cmdr. Giotto)

Writer: Gene L. Coon

It's been a while - I watched a run of tedious episodes too quickly and they just borerd me to the point where I had to have a rest.

Anyhow, this is another reputed classic. Actually, it's pretty good compared to the ones I have just recently watched, although it is a rather typical preachy morality tale. Basically, a silicone based life form (ie a rock) is protecting it's nest, on a planet where some Federation miners are, erm, mining. Of course, it takes most of the episode to work out what is going on, and eventually everything is solved. The rock creature - a Horta - is badly realised, and in some of the books based on the series, one becomes a member of the Enterprise crew. Thank fuck they never did that in the TV show.

There are a couple of good moments, my favourite being when McCoy cures the creature of a phaser wound using cement. The mind meld is less good, with Spock sensing so much "pain" that I almost thought Deanna Troi had turned up twenty years too early!

It has it's moments, but this episode is too predictable. When Spock first picked up a silicone nodule the whole audience must be crying out "it's a fucking egg you green pillock!" And the thought that the colonists will suddenly work with this thing when it has killed fifty of them is rather difficult to believe.

So, okay, but not great.

Crew Deaths: 1
Total Crew Deaths So Far: 26
Score: 5/10

Star Trek 1.24 (This side of paradise)

First Aired: March 2, 1967

Cast:

Jill Ireland (Leila Kalomi)

Frank Overton (Elias Sandoval)

Michael Barrier (II) (Lt. Vincent DeSalle)

Dick Scotter (Painter)

Grant Woods (Lt. Commander Kelowitz)

Writer: D.C. Fontana

So the crew go along to a planet thinking that all of the settlers have died - they have had no contact with them and the planet is being bombarded by Berthold Rays. So when they get there and everyone isn't dead it really makes no sense! They shouldn't be alive - all of their animals are dead, there doesn't seem to be anything indigenous to the planet apart from plant life.

Then Spock is infected with spores from a plant and then pretty much everyone else gets infected and everyone decides to stay on the planet. The whole crew mutiny and decide to beam down to the planet. But somehow Kirk resists this paradise, when everyone else falls under it's spell. YEAH RIGHT! Eventually, Kirk is the last person left on the Enterprise. Then a cunningly left spore plant gets him then he decides to beam down...

But then he gets angry! And is miraculously cured. So he beams Spock up, makes him angry then cured him! Then they make everyone get angry and everyone is cured.

This episode gets remembered because we get to see Spock lighten up (when he is under the influence of the spores).

I suspect that this episode is rated as an all time classic. God knows why.

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 25

Score: 4/10

Star Trek 1.23 (A Taste of Armageddon)

First Aired: February 23, 1967

Cast:

David Opatoshu (Anan 7)

Gene Lyons (Ambassador Robert Fox)

Miko Mayama (Yeoman Tamura)

Sean Kenney (Lt. DePaul)

Robert Sampson (Sar 6)

Writers: Gene L. Coon & Robert Hamner

This episode starts with something that I have in my head as a bit of a Star Trek cliche - the overbearing official that demands that whatever he says goes, something that is backed by law, usually despite the fact that he is leaving someone to die or putting the ship in grave danger. In fact, I am sure there has been another but I wasn't thinking about it at the time. This is the second story strand, and it is utterly annoying.

The first strand is that a war is being fought, but there is now a kind of gentlemans agreement not to send actual missiles, just that when the computer calculates that there would have been a hit, the number of people that would have died have to step into disintegration booths and die for real. The opening scene where the city is under "attack" is quite good, especially with Kirk trying to work out what the hell is going on and why there are no explosions.

Then of course the Enterprise is "destroyed" and the crew have 24 hours to report to the planet to be disintegrated. They, naturally, don't.

The only bad thing is that you know by the end that Kirk will have saved the day and the suicide ritual will be a thing of the past. So the end of the episode is a little predictable.

It's okay, but it isn't great.

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 25

Score: 6/10

Star Trek 1.22 (Space Seed)

First Aired: February 16, 1967

Cast:

John Winston (Lt. Kyle)

Ricardo Montalban (Khan Noonien Singh)

Madlyn Rhue (Marla McGivers)

Blaisdell Makee (Lt. Spinelli)

Mark Tobin (Joaquin)

Kathy Ahart (Crew Woman)

Writer: Marc Daniels

Of course, this episode has taken on a greater significance since the eighties when the second movie The Wrath of Khan revisited the character. In 1996 apparently World War III was all about eugenics, and the survivors escaped in a space vessel, the SS Botany Bay. Of course, I will ignore the fact that this little piece of history never came true - perhaps it was something that happened that certain people knew about. Perhaps certain terrorist outrages that happened before 1996 were actually down to the so called "super men". I am rationalising it too much: in Star Trek history this actually happened.

So, what was bad about this episode. Well, for a start, Marla McGivers (the crew historian that boards the Botany Bay with Kirk and company) falls for Khan when he is asleep, before she has even spoken to him. I know if you are interested in history then the chance to interact with it would be very exciting, but to interact horizontally (which is clearly her intent from before he even awakes) is just not going to tell you much about the past.

In fact, this character is the weak link in the episode. She just falls into Khan's spell far too easily, he almost has to do nothing. I cannot believe that anybody serving in StarFleet would be that easy to influence. Then, later, she has a change of heart and saves Kirk. Puh-lease!

Oh, and the two stuntment playing both Kirk and Khan are obviously neither actor. It is just rubbish.

The standoff between Kirk and Khan on the other hand is superb - both intellectual and physical, they both rise to the occasion and deliver some solidly and believable characters. Yes, even Shatner!

Montalban's performance is utterly compelling - you can see why the producer of the second film chose to revisit this character. He plays the part wonderfully - he has a kind of delivery that apparently the actor developed for the character, and he also used the original episode to try and work the character out fifteen or so years later, and he did a wonderful job. The character is portrayed the same way in both episodes, and you can only congratulate Montalban for that.

At the end, they dump Khan, his followers and McGivers on the planet Ceti Alpha Five. And we all know what happens next!

McGivers doesn't die in this episode, so I cannot include her as a crew death, even though she is dead by the time everyone meets again in the film.

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 25

Score: 8/10

Star Trek 1.21 (Return of the Archons)

First Aired: February 9, 1967

Cast:

Ralph Maurer (Bilar)

Christopher Held (Crewman Lindstrom)

Morgan Farley (Hacom)

Charles Macaulay (Landru)

Sid Haig (First Lawgiver)

Brioni Farrell (Tula)

Torin Thatcher (Marplon)

Harry Townes (Reger)

Writer: Boris Sobelman

The episode starts with an officer called O'Neil running away from what looks like a pair of Ori from Stargate SG1. I checked, but I had indeed put the correct disc in.

It was a bad start. The planet looks rather like Earth from the past, so the main cast get to wear historical Earth costumes and walk around what looks like the same back lot that Miri was filmed in. Then everyone starts banging on about The Red Hour. Which is at exactly six o'clock, and we see the clock. So they even have the same clocks as we do, and presumably 24 hour days.

I can remember most episodes of the classic Star Trek series. Yet somehow, this one had vanished into the murky recesses of my brain. (I read the blurb on the sleeve notes, and that really didn't help either. I had a thought in my mind that it might be the Fizzbin episode, but it wasn't). Now they are going on about Landru all the time. I think it's coming back to me - this is the first episode about a crappy supercomputer.

The hooded guys (The Ori-alike) speak with echoey voices likes computers. They kill people. They keep going on about Landru. It is starting to piss me off.

I really struggled with this. I kept losing interest (oh the dangers of having an internet connection nearby when watching a crap episode) and had to start again three times! (I only bothered because I didn't want to miss any crew deaths. Not that there were any in the first half!)

Well, nearly two hours later (what with the rewatches) yes it turned out to be a shitty computer. This is one of the worst pieces of crap that I have watched so far!

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 25

Score: 3/10

Star Trek 1.20 (Court-Martial)

First Aired: February 2, 1967

Cast:

Percy Rodriguez (Commodore Stone)

Elisha Cook Jr. (Samuel T. Cogley)

Joan Marshall (Lt. Areel Shaw)

Hagan Beggs (Lt. Hansen)

Win de Lugo (Timothy)

Alice Rawlings (Jamie Finney)

Nancy Wong (Personnel Officer)

William Meader (Space Command Rep. Lindstrom)

Bart Conrad (Captain Krasnowsky)

Reginald Lal Singh (Captain Chandra)

Richard Webb (Lt. Commander Benjamin Finney)

Writer: Stephen W. Carabatsos & Don M. Mankiewicz

This episode is filmed on many of the same sets as The Menagerie, and indeed they were filmed next to each other. On the original video release, they released them in production order not transmission order. Next to each other it all looked rather cheap, but luckily this far apart it works fine.

The story is a little similar as well - Kirk is being Court-Martialled again (which at a brief glance looks like a continuity error, as Commodore Stone says this has never happened to a Starfleet Captain before. But then the man holding the court martial in The Menagerie was not real anyway)

It starts badly with a screaming family member blaming Kirk. She just needed a slap. And it gets worse when we find out that the prosecutor at the trial turns out to be one of Kirks old shags.

I did like Kirks attorney, Samuel Cogley. The guys never uses a computer and we see a room with books just strewn everywhere. There is something endearing - and very feasible - about a man living in the 23rd Century who rejects the modern world in favour of good old fashioned paper. I imagine there wouldn't be many of them but somehow I just warmed to him.

As episodes go this one is standard fair. That is not to say the idea 0f a court based drama cannot work on an episode of Star Trek, as was proven in the second season of ST:TNG with The Measure of a Man. The end is a bit of a cop out - the person who allegedly died faked it to get revenge on Kirk for an earlier incident. Oh, but didn't tell his daughter. Git.

Oh, and the "white sound device" that McCoy uses towards the end of the episode is highly shite. It is literally a microphone with some red sticky tape around it.

Oh, and in the big fight at the end Kirks shirt gets ripped. Again. I need to start looking at where they ripped - it is possible they have two or three standard ripped shirts. On this one, the right shoulder is ripped, hanging down at the front, although the black collar band is intact. The rip reveals all the shoulder and right pecs. If I see it again, I shall refer to this shirt as Ripped Shirt #1.

Crew Deaths: 0

Total Crew Deaths So Far: 25

Score: 6/10